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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028259">Finding You (Before the End)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers/pseuds/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers'>Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Vague Ending, Brotherly Affection, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Roman is Angery, no one dies, no one is actually dead, which is ops spoilers but fuck that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:02:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers/pseuds/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>From the moment Virgil and Roman had escaped from their own home years before, they've always been the two of them, alone against the world.<br/>But, now, Roman has just sentenced his own brother to his death. Something that should only be his fault.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Finding You (Before the End)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For a long time I felt like this was the only sort of type of fic that counted as Real Angst tm. Then, I discovered that I much rather prefer inflicting sadness and anger in manners I understand better- like, loneliness, for example. <br/>I'm glad that this fic helped me understand this lesson, though.</p><p>WARNINGS: <br/>Crying, mention of death, guilt, grief, no one actually dies</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roman’s heart pounded against his ribcage, breathe ragged, his thrumming blood a deafening sound to his ears.</p><p>He let himself fall on the murky ground of the dark and narrow alley, the bread he had stolen clutched tight in his hands and the feeling of being observed not quite leaving his bones. Panting, the acknowledgment of what had happened seeped through.</p><p>
  <em>Alone. He was alone. The soldiers had taken him. Taken his brother, the last person he had. Taken him to a sure death. Just for a loaf or two from that rich bastard that didn’t even need them.</em>
</p><p>He knew that cursing and swearing against the damned man brought nowhere, especially now. He was entirely alone, without Virgil, who had always been there for him. Who had always protected him from the world.</p><p>But, as the selfless older brother he was, he had taken the responsibility about the theft, protecting Roman one last time.</p><p>
  <em>Do what Virgil would do in this situation.</em>
</p><p>Taking a deep breathe he stood up, legs shaking, slowly returning to the main road.</p><p>A hoard of people and noises and colours and <em>life</em> hit him at full force.</p><p>
  <em>It wasn’t fair he was the one still living.</em>
</p><p>Roman winced at the loud noises, aching for the ghost of Virgil’s comforting and vacant hand on his shoulder.</p><p>Nevertheless, he kept strolling down the road. Avoiding the guards and dodging those who would only bring harm, like Virgil taught him all that time ago, his face a blank mask.</p><p>And no one noticed him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When the two guards threw him into the cell, his back hitting the cold floor, Virgil knew he had only a few hours to live and that he would pass them rotting in a cell worrying about his little brother.</p><p>
  <em>God, Roman.</em>
</p><p>A pang of guilt hit him square in the chest, making him helplessly gasp for air. Clutching his legs to his chest, hot boiling tears began falling from his pale face. The thought of his younger brother, alone, without anyone to protect him or even love him, tormenting Virgil.</p><p>He had done all that was in his capabilities. However, that hadn’t been enough. They were both alone, now, and he couldn’t protect his younger brother.</p><p>Roman deserved the world and, Virgil had broken the promise he had sworn to himself in what seemed another life.</p><p>Willing his eyes closed he recalled the distant winter day.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>The storm that had been loudly raging for the past weeks had quietened down, letting the townsfolk get out of their houses and into the streets. Soon, someone will walk up the narrow road to the top house and find two decaying bodies and two shivering half starved children.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When Virgil caught a distant figure, probably the milkman, walking up the street towards the house, his breath got caught in his throat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Letting out a shrill scream, he immediately dove to the kitchen, starting to pack up the food that had remained. He ordered his younger brother, which eyes still held such innocence that only a kid could have. Something Virgil wanted to desperately preserve.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wear something heavy, put many layers on like mother would say, Ro. We’re not returning.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(When they reached the back door, Virgil didn’t have the heart to tell Roman that he didn’t need to bring his favourite stuffed toy.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When the figure finally reached the house, what he found was an empty house, two dead bodies and the back door opened to the infinite greyness of the sky.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The door of the cell opened with a quiet sound, making Virgil’s head shot up.</p><p>
  <em>Where they going to actually feed him?</em>
</p><p>A guard entered, silently grabbing Virgil by the arm and dragging him out of the cell.</p><p>Virgil bared his teeth, seething:</p><p>“Where are you bringin-“</p><p>The guard placed a hand on his mouth, affectingly silencing him.</p><p>“Quiet! No one has to hear us.”</p><p>The cool, low voice was awfully familiar, although Virgil couldn’t place where he had previously heard it.</p><p>Virgil nodded and was soon darting down the corridors, a hand tight around his arm, which he was sure was going to leave a mark.</p><p>
  <em>Who was this guy anyway? Why was he expecting Virgil to trust him?</em>
</p><p>If there was something he had learnt from living on the streets in that period of time is that it’s better to be cautious with everyone you meet. And, he wasn’t going to forget that lesson soon.</p><p>The answer to his question didn’t arise quickly, only leaving long corridors and narrow stairs, every step taking him lower into the ground to get followed. Diligently followed to a mystery coated base, it seemed.</p><p>Before they could reach the final door, the figure who had silently taken him stopped abruptly, turning towards Virgil. And, then, with a swift movement he took off the mask that had been keeping his face concealed.</p><p>Virgil took a sharp intake of air.</p><p>He was going to die.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Early this morning, the thieves, the murderers and those who were destroying the kingdom of his royal and magnificent Highness, have been brought to the end of their days-!”</p><p>The usual voice of the messenger, that every day repeated the same thing over and over again, brought a cold sensation in Roman. He stayed frozen in the sea of people that filled the square, his only wish was to not hear his name.</p><p>“… Cox, Virgil…”</p><p>Roman’s blood turned cold, his face turning a pale colour and eyes locked at the man that was still talking, listing names on top of names.</p><p>He was alone. He was actually alone.</p><p>Virgil had left, he had <em>died</em> because of him.</p><p>Before he could do anything there were tears in his eyes, flowing down his cheeks, and someone, or it might just have been his imagination at that point anything could happen, he guessed, held him.</p><p>He didn’t care if he died, at least, he would see Virgil again. So, he let the man take him away from the crowd, stumbling to follow.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay, kiddo. Everything’s going to be alright, you’re going to be alright, believe me, kiddo.”</p><p>The comforting whisper seemed to have no effect on Roman as he only cried harder, clinging to the other for dear life.</p><p>“I am so sorry, I am so so sorry you’re going through all of this. But, I promise you it’s going to be okay, kiddo.”</p><p>Roman looked up at the man, noticing the soft curls that adorned his face and warm brown eyes. With a strangled voice, he managed to ask:</p><p>“How?”</p><p>A tiny smile appeared on the others face, and he leaned to kiss Roman’s forehead.</p><p>“Clean your tears and I’ll show you, okay kiddo?”</p><p>Roman stared at the man, gaze empty, slowly processing the others words, until he nodded. Cleaning his face with a piece of clothing, determination filled in his eyes.</p><p>The figure smiled at him.</p><p>“I’m proud of you, kiddo. Now, follow me, okay?”</p><p>His voice was understanding and the heartwarming sensation that welled up inside of Roman, only made him follow him down the crowded streets and avenues. It was hard to follow the rapid footsteps of the man, but, Roman managed and he soon found himself in a deserted neighbourhood.</p><p>Silence filled the wide streets. No one, not even small creatures, were visible, leaving him and the mysterious man alone.</p><p>
  <em>This is perfect place to murder someone. And, I’m the perfect victim, I have no one who would care. Except I have nothing, I am no one. What’s the use in killing someone and not have any benefit except the blood that now coats your hands?</em>
</p><p>They stopped in front of what seemed like an abandoned shop, thoughts still mulling in Roman’s mind, the man turned towards him.</p><p>He offered a tiny, comforting smile.</p><p>
  <em>Was everything about the man so incredibly comforting or was it just him?</em>
</p><p>“I’m offering you a chance to find and avenge your brother. However, you will be brought to a life I would never recommend to-“</p><p>“I’m in, I don’t care. I have already lost… everything. I can- I <em>need</em> to avenge him, I need to do something worth of everything he ever did for me.” Interjected Roman, eyes flaring and confidence soaring through his veins. He could do it, he knew he could.</p><p>The man seemed to dim, his shoulders sagging and a sigh left his lips.</p><p>“Alright. Follow me, kiddo.” He murmured, before opening the door of the abandoned shop.</p><p>When Roman entered the room he was surprised to find in bare, nothing that could have indicated that it once was a shop. Just dust. Mounts of dust, that felt like they were filling his lungs.</p><p>“I’m Patton, by the way. It only sounds fair that you know my name since I know yours.” The man, Patton, who had sounded so cheery had sombered, the smile he had spotted until then had melted.</p><p>Roman nodded, not daring to voice his thoughts and worries. He followed Patton down narrow steps. Down into the warm earth.</p><p>They stopped after what seemed like eternity, Roman’s breath now shallow and ragged, his lungs burning from the dust. He was fit, of course he wasn’t gasping for air because they had just run down a spiral of stairs.</p><p>“Are you alright, kiddo?”</p><p>“<b>Yes! </b>I am! I am, let’s just- go to the place where- we ought to go and- yes.”</p><p>Patton chuckled, ruffling his hair before starting down the corridor, Roman quick behind him.</p><p>They stopped soon, to Roman’s glee, when a door parried before them. The metal, dark and cold, inspiring distrust to the newcomer.</p><p>However, Patton didn’t stop, slowly opening the door; revealing a spacious room with two figures inside.</p><p>Roman recognised immediately the man that had been their- Virgil’s demise. The noble man, Logan Wivernhath- or something like that, who had shouted that they had stolen some bread.</p><p>He clenched his teeth, hands becoming tight fists. <em>He had murdered Virgil.</em></p><p>An awkward cough left the figure next to Logan, and Roman was brought to turn towards them. He froze, eyes widening and silence falling like a veil on his thoughts.</p><p>
  <em>“Virgil?”</em>
</p>
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